Thread: Proofreader Application

Name/Nickname: Sang-Keun/Sang
Age: 19
Position: Proofreader
Timezone: EST
Aim/Msn: bluebazzi/bluebazzi@hotmail.com

Email: Only Register Member Can See The Link/Image [Click here to register]

How did you find INP-Mangaz and what made you decide to join?
I get most of my mainstream manga fill from onemanga.com and saw your Recruiting page. I love manga and I love helping people out, so being able to help out even with something like grammar to improve readability for others would be great.

How much time are you willing to dedicate for the team?
Anywhere from 1-4 hours a week, depending on what manga/how many I'm assigned to.

How much time did it took you to finish the test?
It's "take," not "took" xD zOMG proofreader mode was still on lawls. Around 30-45 minutes.

Can you use irc?:
Yes.

Previous Experience:
I'm an editor for my college's newsletter, proofread papers by students and by engineers that work in my father's firm, and have contributed to papers that have been published in journals.

Anything else we should know about you:
I would be delighted to work on Fairy Tail, but any manga works for me. I have translated before for Korean mangas in the past, and though I'd love to contribute with a more involved role, school comes first :X We'll have to see where it goes. Please take care of me!

Code breaker
chapter: unknown
translator: unknown

***
A few notes:
Without seeing the manga, I cannot express the emotions and guarantee that the language used by the characters
are congruent with their age, gender, etc. I'm assuming that the reason that the chapter is not given is to see
how well applicants proofread with what they're given.

My changes are demarcated by the <<--- *** and by parentheses towards the end.

I proofread better with a printed copy or with Word with its Comments feature, but I did the best I could xD

Towards the beginning, I justified changes I made, but got lazy towards the end; if reasons are needed, please ask.
***


==Page 1==
Hmm…?
Captured!! Tied-Up!!
The (sexually) harassed high school student, Sakurakoji Sakura, is in trouble!!
Th…This is…?

What… what was… I doing?
That’s right… That time bomb…
So you have finally recovered from your unconsciousness. <<--- ***This sentence is awkward. Much more straightforward to say "I see you've finally awakened",
or to minimize changes to the original translation, "So, you have finally regained consciousness."***

Well, I guess I should compliment you on surviving that explosion… to break the incendiary device before the explosion and your instant explosive power…
I thought you were more of a quiet and reserved person, Sakurakoji-san. <<--- ***"compliment you FOR surviving"; also, the second portion of the sentence
presents both an action and an object, respectively. correct: your dismantling of the incendiary device ("before the explosion" is redundant) and instantaneous
explosive power...***

...Are you really the rumored arsonist?

==Page 02==
Noguchi-kun

Text: The Humor of Ogami’s Old Acquaintance is long lost in the past… <<--- ***"Humour" is more commonly used. Also, by text does this mean that
it's a title or subtitle? I'm guessing so from the capitalizing of Humor, Ogami's, Old, and Acquaintance. Making them universally proper case or
capitalizing all of the stressed words (The humour of Ogami's old acquaintance is long lost in the past vs.
The Humour of Ogami's Old Acquintance is Long Lost in the Past)***
He is now one of the fallen who sold his soul to the demon!! <<---***"who HAS sold" is more proper here since he is NOW one of the fallen, indicating that
his fall is recent***

Code: 15 the one on the phone. <<---***IDK what this means xD***

==Page 03==
Why are you doing this…?
Here, take a look. It’s not long from now. <<---***I'm guessing they are looking into the future or something. "This isn't long from now" flows
better if we were to keep it in passive voice, whereas "This happens not long from now" makes it active and puts more stress on it.***

Kyaaa!!
Hu…Hurry up and put out the fire!!
There…there’s a child inside! <<---*** the first line sounds more natural; in the same vein, "th...there's" and "some...someone" sound more like what
a stuttering freaked out kid would say ***
Someone…someone, please help us!!!

==Page 04==
Stop it!! You don’t have any grudges against any of them… <<--- ***"HOLD any grudges"***
A grudge? Of course not.
Do kids have any reason to tear off the wings of dragonflies? <<--- ***just something personal: "tear the wings off of dragonflies" flows better imo***
The reason why people can’t tell you the reason to not kill people … <<--- ***"The reason why people avoid telling you the reasons why you can't kill people"***
Is actually because everyone has the desire of wanting to try the taste of killing somebody at least once… or so that (p)erson told me. <<--- ***Don't need
to have "actually" in there; "everyone wants to taste the fruit of murder at least one time" or "everyone wants to sample what killing someone tastes like"***

That (p)erson? <<--- *** should prolly italicize "That" as well ***
I have placed more incendiaries in the town today. You’ll be able to see much more interesting things in just a minute. Until then…

Let’s play a bit with him.
Sfx: Peep peep peep

==Page 05==
Run!
S…Stop it!!
Sfx: Peep’s <<--- ***Peeps***

Hahaha!! Look at that! He’s so desperate!
The damn ugly dog looks more and more ugly!!
Stop…Stop it!! <<--- ***st...stop***

Watch your mouth, girlie. If you want me to stop, then you better get down to your knees and beg nicely. <<--- ***"you'd better get down on your knees"***

Ugh
What are you gonna do? I’m the only one who can deactivate it, ya know?
…Hey, there isn’t much time left.

Ple…ase….

==Page 06==
Please stop it! I beg you!
I’ll do whatever you want, so let him go!! <<--- "just let him go"

Too bad! Time’s up!

Hahaha! You were too slow to realize that! Oh well, I didn’t have the tiniest incentive to deactivate it anyways! <<--- "anyway"

==Page 07==
What the hell is with that face? You’re next, y’know?
Five minutes left…Let’s have some fun, shall we? Ahahaha!!

…You’ll be caught someday…
Definitely!!

Fine… If I get caught, I’ll say…
I regret what I did. I will never do it again. I want to be someone useful in the future…
With that it’s settled! Underage clemency granted! I’m quite skilled in pretending to be an innocent and pleasant little boy!! Hahahaa!!! <<--- it'll be settled
/skilled at
Ahahaha!!


==Page 08-09==
Just as I thought you disappeared, //What are you doing here playing around with that trash? <<--- Just as i thought...you disappeared.
Please think about the feelings of the one who is supposed to observe you, the rare kind…
O… Ogami!

==Page 10==
“Pu…Puppy”… you’ve done well to survive…
So you came after all… I caught this woman expecting that you would follow…
I’ll kill you as well! Ogami!! <<-- no exclamation point between well and Ogami
I don’t give a damn about the life of the one forgot about me. <<--- ***about the life of the one WHO forgot about me (to keep it as close to the translator, but
"the life of the" can be taken out. ***
And besides, that person requested me to kill you as well. // Using the most gruesome way!! <<--- ***requested that I kill you as well***
Noguchi, Stop it!! Together, we’ll go to the police… <<<- undercase "stop"

==Page 11==
Hahaha!! Eat that, you bastard!! Look at that timing, not even the gods can do that!!
O…Ogami…
“Puppy!”
Trash…

==Page 12==
Vroom(Wind)
==Page 13==
You can’t burn a piece of dirt with that fire…
O... Ogami!!
I can’t believe Ogami’s flame can even extinguish other fires…?
What… the hell was that blue flame just now…<<<--- ***need "?"***
Hey… That person said nothing about this…
Su…Such a monster… impossible…
Ge…Get away from me!! You (m)onster!!
I still have some incendiaries (around) town! If you (do) something to me, the town (will be engulfed/swallowed) in a sea of fire…

==Page 14==
You mean these?
I burned them all.

Hiieeaa!! AAhhh!!!
We’re friends, aren’t we, Ogami!!
Come on, we’re friends! Come on, let’s shake (don't need our) hand(s) to mark our reconciliation!

You’ve changed a lot too…
!?
So you didn’t forget about me after all?!
But… We can’t go back to what we were before
Eh?

==Page 15==
I will at least send you away with my hand.
My left handshake is the handshake of farewell.

==Page 16==
Hyaa!! How could you… burn your friend!!
You… demon!!
You… parent-killer!!

Just as you are doing this… that person will come and kill you…
By “THE PERSON YOU ARE LOOKING FOR” <<--- the subject suddenly changes aka keep that person the object, thus "By" is not needed.

==Page 17==
Are you all right?
I’m so glad you’re all right!!
I’m so relieved…
…From now there will be no more casualties caused by Noguchi… <<--- "at the hands of Noguchi" sounds more proper
…But…
Why did you take care of this even though it wasn’t your assignment? Ogami… you probably remembered Noguchi(,) didn’t you?

Why would all (of) that matter?
Ogami…

Is the person you are looking for take part in this? <<--- taking part
That person pushed Noguchi into this mess, didn’t he?

==Page 18==
O…Ogami!?
I see!! So (you guys finally) want to hug each other! You don’t have to say anything!
Hey Ogami… even if Noguchi couldn’t go back to what he was(...)
Perhaps, he could have changed if he was alive, right? (if he were alive)
Hmm?

O…
What the… he’s extremely cold… cold…
Ogami! What’s wrong!(?)!

==Page 19==
Riiinnng(all over the place)
What…(?)
Isn’t that his work phone?
Ye…yes!!

So he collapsed after all. I told him not to do anything outside the work assigned… <<<-- beyond the work assigned
You…You are…

==Page 20==
Jeez, what a troublesome master [or husband, but I doubt it.]
“Jeez, what a troublesome master”

Don’t you think so as well, Sakurakoji-san?

Kan…Kanda-sensei!?

The tsunami of shock and rage strikes!! Their homeroom teacher, Kanda-sensei is Ogami’s supporter!? This emergency upheaval draws near!!

Next: The school is the entrance to “The Twilight Zone”?